Children in Hospital
Preparing your child for hospital
Parents feel worried and anxious when their child must go to hospital. These feelings are normal and natural.
A stay in hospital whether for a few hours or several weeks can be a constructive, maturing experience for the whole family. Here are some ways in which you and your child can be helped to reduce the stress of a visit to hospital.
Before your child goes to hospital
Your child must be able to trust you. It is important to tell children honestly in words they understand that they will be going to hospital and what they may expect.
What to tell your child
The amount of information depends on age. All children, however, need to be told in language appropriate to their age that - they are going to hospital; - they are going for a reason - to have tests to find out what is wrong (why their tummy is sore) or to have something wrong put right (to make their sore throat better); - they will be coming home again. They need reassurance that they are not going to hospital because they are naughty.
Some of this information can take the form of a game; playing teddy is going to hospital. Your hospital may have play specialists to help parents prepare children - ask at your hospital. Ask your local library for suitable books. You may like to write a special book for your own child.
It is important that any information you give your child be accurate. If you are not sure exactly what is going to happen ring the charge nurse or your doctor.
When to tell your child
Again this depends on age - or previous experience. Telling your child too early can lead to misconceptions and fantasies. Children under 3 should be told two or three days before - older children one or two weeks ahead. It is important to explain to brothers and sisters what is going to happen. This can be an anxious time for parents and children.
A visit to your hospital
It is important that you understand why your child is going to hospital and what medical or surgical treatment your child is expected to have. Any questions and concerns are best discussed during a visit before your child is admitted.
A visit will familiarise you and the child with the ward, beds, toilet provisions and is an opportunity to meet the staff. For young children a "tour" of the ward is not appropriate. They may misunderstand some of the things they see. This is a time to find out if you can stay in hospital with your child, whether there is a supervised play programme and whether other children in the family are welcome to use facilities.
Ask for support
A family with a child in hospital needs support. A relation or friend can be a support during clinic visits, give relief to the parent staying in hospital, or help with visiting. Children at home are affected by the hospitalisation of their brother or sister and will need extra support. Tell their teachers what is happening.
What to take
Pack favourite toys, books and games, the usual comforters - (cuddly rug etc) and photographs of family and home. These are important - they are a link with home, something familiar and comforting.
Some children may like their own nightwear and clothes but parents will have to take responsibility for these. Pack toilet items (brush, comb, toothbrush and paste) and some footwear (slippers, jandals).
Your child's stay in hospital
Feelings of loneliness or of being abandoned in a strange place are what really distress children most in hospital.
Children in hospital need their parents
Young children especially those under 5 years of age will handle the hospital experience best when a parent stays in hospital with them. Try and arrange for somebody to be with your child all the time. If a parent cannot be there ask somebody the child knows, a family member or friend to be with them.
Older children need daily visits by somebody familiar to them.
Some hospitals have Hospital Grandparents to help families provide the children with a "familiar" person - ask the nurse in charge of your ward.
Visiting
Children often cry with relief when their parents come. If they are old enough they may complain and grizzle. It is better for children to cry out or talk about their unhappiness than to bottle it up. Sometimes children appear to ignore or reject their parents. Remember that children do need reassurance of their family's presence, even if it does not seen so. When you have to leave say goodbye and leave confidently. It is important not to just slip away. Staying to reason with, or to comfort your child only gives them false hope that you will not have to leave. Perhaps you could leave your child something to mind for you until you come back; a comb or your sweat shirt.
Tell your child's nurse when you are leaving and when you are expecting to be back. If you cannot make it back at that time phone the ward and tell them of the new arrangement.
Play is important
Play is familiar and reassuring. It is a way of communicating and sharing feelings and helps children understand what hospital is about. Playing with soft toys, dolls, little plastic people, cars and blocks or playdough will keep young children in touch with the home they are missing. Children benefit from playing through the things that are happening to them - taking Teddy's temperature, giving the dolls an injection. Through their play children feel in control instead of feeling the victim. Young children in hospital often need an adult to help them play.
Communication
You and your child will meet many people in hospital. Communication can be difficult. It is helpful if you tell your child's nurse:- what comforts your child, what upsets your child, anything that may make coming to hospital more difficult for your child: a new baby in the family, death of a family member, an unhappy previous hospital experience, words your family uses if the child wants to go to the toilet, when you are leaving the ward and when you are returning. You can usually do the things for your child that you would normally do at home. It is important that parents and nursing staff discuss the sharing of the child's care on a daily basis. If you have any worries, queries or complaints it is important to speak to the charge nurse or your child's doctor. You may want to write down any questions you have to ask the doctor or other team members.
Back home again
Both your hospitalized child and his or her brothers and sisters will need extra attention when you return home.
Even with careful preparation changes in your child's behaviour may occur after discharge from hospital. It is common for a time for your child not to want you out of their sight. They may be over concerned about their health. Eating and sleeping habits may change and they may have more temper tantrums than previously. There are sometimes signs of panic if they are reminded about hospital experiences. They may seem to be behaving in a way they did when they were much younger.
All these changes give cause for concern and may require a great deal of patience, understanding, reassurance and extra loving before the child's former security returns. Too much discipline at this stage could well add to fears and feelings of being abandoned in hospital. Play can help the child work through their strong feelings.
If the behaviour continues or if you are concerned about your child at all ring the charge nurse for help or contact the Children in Hospital Liaison Group (CHLG) tel. 558-247 (on answerphone) or PO Box 10199, Balmoral, Auckland 3, or find the number of your local Parents Centre in the telephone book. These people will understand and will be able to offer support.